


Blind Faith

by CDenic



Category: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: F/M, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-23
Updated: 2012-08-23
Packaged: 2017-11-12 17:24:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CDenic/pseuds/CDenic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been ten years since I completed a work of fanfiction...I now offer you this.</p><p>Hope is feeling a little bit of anxiety over his new relationship with Lightning...<br/>Inspired by the Warrant song of the same title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blind Faith

_Disclaimer: I do not own FFXIII or_ Blind Faith _, because if I did, I would have been able to kick Jani Lane's ass into shape before he ruined himself._

NOTE: Reading this [on my website](http://www.chrisdenicola.com/Fanfiction/Fics/FFXIII/BlindFaith.html) provides a...fuller experience. Trust me. 

  
  


by Chris DeNicola  


  


             The slight creek of hinges was the only sound in the Villiers-Farron-Estheim residence. It was after two in the morning, and all was still and calm, the pale Pulsian moonlight leaving a soft glow beneath the windows.  
             The only stirring was of the second youngest of the family of five; his heart beating heavily as he slowly, gently eased the bedroom door open, gradually revealing the room before him. It was bathed in a bluish satin hue, a combination of the soft colors of the walls and carpet, and the moonlight. The air was cool and a bit humid on this late summer night.  
             Hope Estheim peeked around the door carefully, making sure he wouldn’t see anything that he shouldn’t; he was, after all, sneaking into a lady’s room in the middle of the night. As his eyes found the bed, he spied a still form lying upon it, hidden up to her shoulders by warm covers.  
             “…Light?” he called, just above a whisper.  
             She did not respond.  
             Taking a breath, Hope crept into the room, closing the door behind him, careful not to make a sound. He didn’t want to startle her; it was not good to frighten a soldier. As he got closer to the bed, he observed the room’s occupant.  
             Lightning Farron was nestled comfortably under her covers, flat on her stomach and sound asleep. Her left knee was bent slightly, sticking outwards. Her head was turned in the same direction, her right cheek sunk deep in the pillow that sat atop her arms. Her unruly pink hair was tied back, but was slowly coming loose, and her bangs – which had grown out a bit in the time he had known her – obscured her eyes. Her only movement was rise and fall of her back, slow and steady, as she breathed.  
             Tentatively, Hope reached out and brushed her bangs from her eyes. They were closed, yet her lips were slightly parted, her breath even and slow. She looked peaceful, serene.  
             For a moment, Hope couldn’t help but be stunned; this breathtakingly beautiful woman was actually _his girlfriend_. It seemed to defy all logic. He smiled, yet he was still nervous as he carefully sat on the edge of the bed, trying to move as smoothly as possible. He slowly set his weight down, turning slightly sideways so he could see her, and the mattress dipped slightly. When Lightning did not stir, he let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.  
             For a moment, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do; it had been his intention to talk to her…but seeing her looking so peaceful, and getting some well-deserved rest, he could not bring himself to wake her.  
             Then again, maybe she didn’t have to be awake, or even hear him. Maybe it was enough for him to just give voice to the thoughts and feelings that had been stealing his sleep lately…  
             Almost a month ago, Lightning and Hope had become a couple. It took Hope nearly three years to gather up enough courage to ask her out, and he received the shock of his life when she had agreed, with only minor hesitation. Neither of them had expected a second date, but after the third, Lightning finally laid it on the line to him: she was his, he was hers, and she sealed it with a kiss.  
             Ever since then, they had openly enjoyed being together. Though Lightning was still her stoic self, Hope had no misconceptions about the status of their relationship, or the fact that Lightning really did want to be with him. She let him know, in little ways, that he was special to her.  
             Yet Hope still worried. He doubted. He questioned.  
             He had a hard time imagining how this was possible; what could a seventeen year old boy possibly offer a twenty four year old woman? Especially a woman like Lightning?  
             He didn’t know. He didn’t know how to ask her. He knew very well how volatile Lightning could be where deeper emotions were concerned. He did not want to smother her, nor did he want to be distant or detached. But he was sure that she had no idea just how much she meant to him. She knew he cared very much…but he never told her just _how_ much.  
             It was time for that to change. He was a whirlwind of emotions…and he simply _had_ to let them out before he lost control of them.  
             So he began to speak, softly and honestly, to the sleeping woman.  
             “Light I…I know it’s late, but…” Hope took a breath, “this is important. It’s been on my mind…”  
             She did not stir.  
             For a moment, Hope considered how silly it might be to pour his heart out to someone who was asleep, but he brushed it off. He had to start somewhere, so he pressed on. “You’re always so carefully hidden. So unreadable. You keep so much inside…and I know there are a lot of reasons why. I try so hard to see what you’re truly feeling. I just want to understand you better.”  
             She still did not stir. Hope paused, took another breath and rubbed his eyes, trying to find his words. Sleeping or not, he did not want to screw up what he was trying to say to her.  
             “You hide your golden heart so well…and I know it’s because it’s so much more fragile than you’d like to admit. I know how easily you can be hurt once someone gets close to you.” He took another breath. “But somehow you’ve decided to trust me enough to let your guard down. At least, sometimes. I know it’s only the first step towards letting others get closer to you…but you chose me to make that first step with you.” Hope paused, his heart beating fast. “…You don’t know how much that means to me.”  
             To Lightning, it was probably no big deal. But to him…it may just be the greatest gift anyone had ever given him. To be the only one, besides her sister, that she would show her heart to. But it placed great responsibility on his shoulders as well. Responsibility that he was not sure he had the strength to carry.  
             “I’m learning, slowly, how to be what you need me to be. Because I…I know that without you, I’d just…” Hope shook his head, holding in his tears. “I’d be nothing.” He let out a shuddering breath, and tried to steady himself.  
             Lightning was unaware of his pained expression; she shifted slowly in her sleep, hiding her face in her pillow.  
             “And I don’t even mean because you protected me,” he continued, “and taught me to fight, and survive. I mean because…because before I met you, I was just another drone. Just going through the motions of living, without ever having a real purpose. I had no dreams or ambitions…I went to school, I studied, and I got good grades because that’s what I was supposed to do. I wasn’t pursuing anything, I was just doing as I was told…  
             “Then I met you…and suddenly I had something pushing me forward. Something challenging me to do better. I felt a drive to succeed for the first time. I wanted to live up to your example of being the best you could be.” He gently ran a finger over a few strands of her hair. “And I wanted to make you proud.”  
             Hope wondered if her harsh treatment of him in the beginning had something to do with his constant drive to impress her. He chuckled at the irony; it seemed that Lightning brought out the best in him no matter what she did.  
             “All these opportunities that I now have in front of me…I wouldn’t have even cared if not for you. I have dreams now. Things that I want to be. I’ve worked so hard to make something of myself, but you’ve been behind me every step of the way. Every time I feel like I’m not going to make it, you give me that push again. And you never steer me wrong. You’d never let me give up, or settle for mediocrity.”  
             Hope’s words were flowing more easily now. He resisted his urge to run his fingers through more of her silken hair; that was something he had become addicted to lately.  
             “You give me such strength…I know I can make my dreams come true as long as I have you with me. I have faith in you, and I’d follow you into Hell and back. I know you’ll never let me down…and I want to return the favor.”  
             Hope took another breath, preparing himself for the hardest part. “And honestly…I don’t know what I ever did to be worthy of someone like you. To tell you the truth…” Hope gulped, his eyes turning down, and his next words came out in a sad whisper. “I-I’m not sure that I am…”  
             “Don’t say that Hope.”  
             Hope’s eyes went wide and his breath caught in his throat, and he nearly jumped away when a calloused, yet soft hand crept out from under the pillow and rested on his. “Light?! You’re awake?!”  
             Lightning slowly turned her head to look at him. Her tired eyes were wet, a few tears running sideways down her soft face. She smiled gently. “I’m a light sleeper. You should know that.”  
             “I’m sorry, I-”  
             “Shh…” she breathed, placing a finger on his lips, and turning halfway onto her side. Her eyes closed, and her smile was slightly sad. “Hope, I’m not some kind sage who always knows the right thing to do…I’m just a soldier. I-”  
             “You are so much more than just a soldier, Light.” Hope found her eyes when she opened them again. “You live up to your chosen name. You’re my inspiration. You give me a reason to get up in the morning.”  
             “Hope…” Her expression, while still slightly veiled, was a mixture of emotions. Hope saw hints of sadness…self-doubt. Uncertainty and fear. But at the same time, he knew she was also at ease as she let her guard down ever so slightly. It brought a smile to his face as he continued.  
              “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. You’ve gone from a protector and mentor to a best friend, and now…” Hope felt his cheeks burn as the words caught in his throat. “I mean, I…I’m not sure that I deserve you, but…”  
             “Stop talking like that Hope. You-”  
             This time, he silenced her with a finger on the lips. “But like I said…I have faith in you. So as long as _you_ think I do…”  
             Lightning sniffled and wiped her face with the back of her hand. She then reached out and caught Hope’s chin, pulling him towards her. Their lips met gently and tenderly, her fingers stroking his cheeks. She felt a tear run across them.  
             After a moment, they separated, and Hope smiled gently at her, meeting her eyes. “I just wanted to tell you that.”  
             She smiled back, wiping the tear from his cheek. Then she did something unexpected: she lifted the covers next to her, pushing Hope back slightly to free them from under him. She held them up with her left arm, opening a wide space.  
             Hope smiled, and though he felt a moment of nervousness, he quickly dismissed it and took the invitation. He pulled his socks off with his toes, then swung his legs up and under the covers. As he moved closer, Lightning let her arm drop, resting over his shoulder as his left arm slid under her. She turned her whole body towards him, and his right hand found her waist and guided her closer. She nestled her head in the crook of his neck, breathing him in, as his arms encircled her, his right hand coming up to stroke her hair.  
             Lightning sighed in contentment, bringing a smile to Hope’s face as he held her gently. She was so soft and warm, smelled so nice, her breath so even, calm, and cool against his neck; it was impossible for him to be tense with her this close to him. He felt her fingers lightly tracing circles on his back, and soon found his eyelids feeling very heavy.  
             “Hope…?” Her voice was small, almost embarrassed.  
             “Mmm?”  
             “I love you.” It was the first time she had spoken those words to him.  
             Hope felt his chest swell with warmth, and he squeezed her gently, a gesture she reciprocated. “I love you too. I always will, Light.”  
             “I know.” she breathed, planting a feather kiss on his collarbone.  
              _It’s so ironic that you would doubt yourself, because you always know just what to say, what to do to ease my fears. Nobody else could ever love me the way you do. I am glad to know that my feelings are returned.  
             And I’m not sure if I deserve a person so true…  
             But I love that you think I do._  
             A minute later, Lighting and Hope were sleeping peacefully in each other’s arms, content in the knowledge that they would continue to do so for the rest of their lives.

 

  


* * *

_Author's Note:  
             Warrant rocks.  
             There are a lot of songs that I think suit Hope and Lightning. This idea spilled out fairly quickly while listening to this one.  
             As for why Hope was nervous about being invited into Lightning's bed, well, what with the age gap, Lightning's stoicism and trust issues, Hope's young awkwardness, and any of the other personality trait hurdles we've seen exploited in fanfiction, they're treading carefully. (The original draft of this included a note about them living in the same house, and how bad that would be if things went sour.) They're both moving slowly and cautiously into the unknown.  
             In short, Hope hasn't gotten any cherry pie just yet.  
             But on their first date, they _ did _go to where the down boys go.  
             Thanks,  
  
_

[_-Chris_](http://www.chrisdenicola.com)

  


_P.S.: Read this and more fanfiction on[my website archive](http://www.chrisdenicola.com/Fanfiction/FicLibrary.html)._


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